PostHeaderIcon Relationships, Marriage and Affairs Resolved

There are three distinct parts to a new relationship.

The biggest part is hormone driven, it's the initial attraction, the raised heartbeat, the fluttering stomach, dilating pupils. It's exciting and it's powerful stuff.

The next biggest part is sexual in nature. It's about discovery on a physically and emotionally intimate level. It's exciting and it's powerful stuff as well.

The third part is about love and becoming emotionally caring about each other. It's not as exciting and it's not very powerful... yet!

As the relationship grows the dynamics between these three parts change. The hormone driven side of things calm down relatively quickly, it can happen within a few weeks or take several years, but in relation to the other two parts even a couple of years is relatively quick.

The sexual part of the relationship changes focus as well. It becomes less of a discovery and settles down to become a real connection. It's the intimate layer that helps distinguish your relationship from all the other relationships you have. It's intimate in a mental, physical, emotional and spiritual way.

The third part, the love and caring for each other is the part that grows. It's also about discovery, the more you discover about each other the more your love intensifies.

This is also where a relationship continues to grow... or dies away.

When the hormones have settled down and the sex has changed focus, if the love hasn't started to grow then the relationship is left with nothing other than sex holding it together. This relationship isn't growing and is never going to get anywhere.

However, if love does grow, then everything is in place for a long, happy and successful marriage. The bonds keeping you both together are in place and growing.

This is why affairs are so damaging to a marriage. It breaks the bonds that are fundamental in any romantic relationship.

It doesn't matter whether the infidelity is physically sexual in nature or a purely emotional affair, they are both devastating to any long term relationship and is certainly destructive to a marriage.

It's the shared intimacy that's involved in acts of infidelity that make it so destructive. Even if the innocent and faithful spouse never finds out about their adulterous partner, it changes the cheater... for ever.

Affairs affect everyone, even those not directly involved in the infidelity, because there will be some emotional and physical withdrawal from the marriage. It may go unnoticed, but it will happen none the less.

So, how do you overcome an affair?

Well, it's not the affair that keeping you apart, it's the broken bonds.

These are not simple bonds though, they involve many kinds, not least of which is trust.

Trust in a relationship is paramount. You've been betrayed at the most basic level, the very foundations of your marriage. Trust has gone.

You feel like you've been rejected, replaced by someone else. Another bond broken.

The emotional and physical intimacy has been shared with someone else, it's no longer yours anymore. Yet another bond severed.

And, none of this even begins to address what you've gone through. The hurt, anguish, torment, unanswered questions, feelings of inadequacy, the images you can't get out of your mind, not to mention all the uncertainty concerning your future.

No-one would blame you for thinking the question isn't, "HOW do you overcome an affair?" But, "CAN you overcome an affair?"

But... the bonds can be joined again. You can rebuild the trust and rekindle the love you had for each other... This link Save Your Marriage can show you how.

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